


Dumbasses in a fantasy world

by Maxils



Category: Original Work, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Based On Real Life (loosely), Character Changes in Fantasy World, F/M, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Real World to Fantasy Universe, Swearing, Toxic Sibling Relationships, just not in chapter 1, title will change, yes i actually got water in my nose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22625737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxils/pseuds/Maxils
Summary: A teenager, a bunch of kids and a cat get sucked into a magical fantasy realm.
Relationships: Graeme/Brady, Simone/Austin





	1. Daily Life with Maxils

**Author's Note:**

> My siblings and I have a roleplay that we do. It's described in the first chapter. (As of writing, I have yet to confirm that the bar and the pool table have any real function in the roleplay.)
> 
> Myles, Brady, Austin and William are my brother's friends. Maxi doesn't get sucked into the magical realm.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maxils goes about her daily routine.

Maxils gazed across the kingdom of Basementia. In reality, it was just the basement of her house, but she and her siblings were in a roleplay where she was the queen of the kingdom of Basementia. Of course, ‘Queen’ was just a formal title. She was more like… a… not elected president. Yeah. Sure. Let’s go with that.

The pool house (pool table) was situated in the middle of the kingdom, with a bar (the kind that you would find in a house) directly next to it. To the immediate right of the pool table (from where Maxils was sitting) was Simone’s house (fortress). It was made out of those weird green sticks that go into purple balls that you can make bases out of. It was two sticks tall in two sections and one stick tall in the third. One stick wide, three sticks long.

Meanwhile, Graeme’s house was situated between the pool house and the computer lab (just a computer). One stick tall, but roofless. Three sticks by three sticks. The idiot Maxils was forced to call a brother had earned that property during a trial where Maxils was the offense, defense, judge and jury all at once.

What was the trial about, again?

Oh, yeah. Simone had gifted him a stick. However, she’d soon wanted it back, and decided to use brute force. The scream was so loud that Maxils had thought that Simone had broken a bone. Sadly, though, she hadn’t. The ‘jury’ found her guilty.

“Queen Maxils-ils,” Graeme stammered, approaching her. It was an annoying trait of his. He’d speak without thinking beforehand, and that often resulted in the repetition of a single syllable. 

“What do you want, you idiot?” Maxils groaned, facepalming. She could hardly stand that curly-haired freak of a brother. She had to actively restrain herself from swearing around him.

She could see him looking at her with his blue eyes, but she didn’t fully meet his gaze. “Queen Willow wants to speak with you.”

Willow, the cat, had been crowned the queen of the kingdom of Maine Fleur (main floor). Maxils wasn’t insane. (Okay, maybe that wasn’t completely true, BUT STILL!) She knew that cats couldn’t actually speak. She still liked to imagine that she and Willow had conversations, though.

“Fine.” Maxils swept her blonde hair off of her chest and scratched where the hair had been. “Where?”

“Upstairs,” Graeme answered. “At her throne.”

“Okay. Now, begone, mortal!” The elder sister got out of the orange-and-red egg chair and Graeme instinctively leapt back, but Maxils managed to poke him in the middle of his idiotically curly hair as she passed him.

No, she did not flip him the bird while his back was turned.

Once upstairs, she located Willow, who was in her cat tower. The small brown ticked tabby was curled up adorably, and Maxils couldn’t help but smile. Oh, how she loved her adorably smol feline companion. If only Maxi loved Maxils back like Willow did...  
Willow blinked open her hazel eyes as Maxils scratched behind her ear.

“Mew?” Willow meowed. Maxils translated that to, “Graeme sent you?”

“Yeah, the idiot told me you wanted to talk.” Maxils kissed Willow’s forehead. “What about, baby?”

“Meow,” Willow answered. _Simone is being annoying. Can you get her to shut up?_

“On it. Simone, Queen Willow wants you to leave her alone!” Maxils called.

“I’m not listening to you!” Simone cried from the TV room. Maxils sighed. Of course Simone would say that. With Graeme, Maxils had methods of convincing, but the five-year-old? She was a lot harder to persuade. Threats of telling on that normally worked with Graeme were normally useless against Simone, and even poking couldn’t convince her. Granted, Maxils was generally nicer to Simone, but only slightly.

 _Well._ “I’ll click a pen by your ear while you’re watching YouTube!”

“FINE!” Simone yelled, stomping. _Ugh…_ Simone could be a real nuisance sometimes.

Willow began purring and rolled into tummy-rubbing position. _Thanks._

“Any time, Cat.” Maxils rubbed Willow’s soft white chest, kissing her forehead lightly. She took advantage of the moment and poked Willow’s nose. “Boop!”

It was at that moment that Maxi began barking near her food and water. That translated to, “Five-foot-five blonde human female, I require your services as either my food or water has been depleted, and I am forcing you to drag yourself over here, determine the problem and actually do something with your life for once!” Okay, maybe it wasn’t EXACTLY that, but that was the gist of it.

“Jesus Christ, I’m coming…” Maxils muttered. _Screw genetics for making me be 5’5” and probably not grow any taller…_

The source of the problem turned out to be the brown-and-white dog’s water dish, which was empty, probably partially due to the cat, who loved to drink from Maxi’s water and eat Maxi’s food.

Filling Maxi’s water was a simple process.

Step 1: Go to the kitchen. Simple enough.

Step 2: Grab a glass out of the cupboard. Easy.

Step 3: Fill that glass with water from the fridge’s water dispenser. Maxils hated how long that took. She wasn’t a patient person. Ask any of her friends (she didn’t have many, though).

Step 4: Go back to the dog’s water dish. There was a reason that Maxils didn’t just bring the bowl to the fridge to fill it up anymore.

Step 5: Pour the water into the dish. Kind of hard without spilling any, but Maxils normally managed to do it.

Step 6: Drink any remaining water. Maxils ended up getting water into her nose this time. _Ugh. Stupid water. Why can’t you just go into my mouth and not my nose?_

Step 7: Go back to doing whatever you were doing before. When Maxils reached the cat tower, Willow was gone, though, so she went to her laptop to write more of her various stories while complaining about every little thing that her siblings were doing.

It took about two minutes for Maxils to realize that while she was getting the dog some water, Graeme’s friends had arrived.

A scream rang out from downstairs, startling Maxils, and she went down to investigate.

She didn’t even have time to blink before a blinding white light surrounded her, knocking her unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bob: How the hell did Maxils make it through a chapter without sweari- Fffffffffffffuck.  
> Illusion: Nice job, dumbass.  
> Bob: Anyways, Maxils and Willow are both unconscious.  
> Illusion: That leaves you stuck with us. Woohoo. *fist pumps*  
> Bob: Yes, Maxils is actually 5'5".  
> You know I'm not ACTUALLY unconscious right now, RIGHT?  
> Illusion: HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK-  
> I'm the author. I get to make the rules, especially when it's my fantasy story.  
> Illusion: Your self-indulgent Grady and Simaustin fanfiction hardly counts as fantasy.  
> Anyways, for those of you unfamiliar with my Town of Sanses fanfiction, I typically use the end notes for writing with Maxi, Bob, Willow and Illusion in that fanfic, but I'm in a different realm from Maxi right now and Willow is asleep.  
> Bob: Unconscious.  
> Shut up, Bob.  
> damn, life is boring
> 
> 1 kudos for next chapter? kthxbai


	2. Waking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willow wakes up to find that she is now a neko (but still heavily nearsighted).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Indoor cats tend to be nearsighted. Outdoor cats are more farsighted. That's what I got from the article I read. Words are confusing.

Willow opened her eyes to see that her vision was weird. All of the colors were oddly messed up and really, really bright. She was also cold. REALLY cold.

“Are you okay?” an external voice asked. Willow turned her head to see a human with light pink hair standing over her. Wait, no, this wasn’t a human… There were cat ears on them. Or her. Or maybe him. Willow couldn’t tell which, damn nearsightedness.

“The hell happened?” another voice asked. Willow recognized that voice as Maxils’. “HOLY SHIT WHAT HAPPENED TO WILLOW.”

Willow looked down at her paws to find that they weren’t actually paws any more, but hands. Using these new hands, she sat up, reached up and touched her face to find a surprising lack of fur.

She almost screamed, had it not been for Maxils running over and giving her a hug.   
“Don’t worry, it’s alright, I’m sure that there’s a logical explanation for all this.”

Willow couldn’t bring herself to respond or even look at Maxils. Instead, she looked up at the soft-haired cat-human hybrid for some sort of insight into their situation.

“Well, you’re conscious, so that’s a good sign.”

“What happened?” another voice asked. Willow’s ears directed themselves to the owner of the voice, who she could only assume was William, Graeme’s friend.

“I found you all unconscious,” the pink-haired neko responded, “just outside of town, so I brought you in here. It’s dangerous outside of town limits.”

“Can I die if I go out there?” Maxils asked. Willow mentally facepalmed. She was either going to throw Graeme and Simone out of town or get out herself, Willow was sure of it.

“Yes!” the neko warned, panic in her crystal-blue eyes. “There’s a dangerous monster out there!”

“Alright. Anyways, I want some alone time with my cat now.”

“If you say so…” the neko answered, leaving the room. William followed her as Willow turned to Maxils.

“You okay, baby?” the blonde human asked. Something about her appearance seemed to have changed, though. Willow just couldn’t pinpoint what.

Hesitantly, Willow replied, “I don’t know…” At this point, realizing that she could actually speak wasn’t a very big surprise. As Maxils rubbed Willow’s shoulders, the now-neko purred softly. “What happened?”

“I have no idea.” Maxils flopped backwards onto the bed that they were both on. “All I know is that we’re alive and in a building with at least one cat person… aside from you.” As the human rolled onto her side, she began twitching and groaning, “Hungry… Need consume…”

That made Willow realize that she too was feeling rather peckish. “Wanna see if there’s any food here?”

“Yeah!” Maxils’ pupils changed to a weird upside-down triangle shape at the mention of food. As far as Willow knew, Maxils’ pupils were always circular and only ever changed size.  _ Eh, probably just this world. _ “Willow?” Maxils snapped.

“Wha? Oh. Right.” Willow stood up, almost tipping over at the odd feeling of standing on her two hind legs only. Maxils seemed to notice this, as she got up to support Willow. “How do you humans walk like that…?”

“Practice makes  _ purrfect!” _ Maxils joked. Willow sighed at the pun. “What? Do you not appreciate my  _ ameowzing _ humor?”

“Maxils, I swear to god…” Willow’s thought was interrupted by a stumble, and Maxils’ voice went flat.

“That’s it, I’m carrying you.” Willow let out a mew of surprise as she was lifted up and carried out of a door and down a flight of stairs that pictures of a neko family(?) lined the walls of.

“Oh, welcome!” the voice of the pink-haired cat human greeted them. Willow could feel herself being set down onto the ground.

“Is that Willow?” Myles’ voice asked.

“Yes, it is I, puny mortal,” Willow answered, crossing her now-arms and huffing. That response earned a chuckle from Maxils. Shortly after, she was engulfed in a hug, followed by a hiss from Maxils. Hissing like a cat was a special talent of hers, and she normally did it when someone was pissing her off or touching Willow.

“Okay, okay, I’ll leave Willow alone!” Graeme shuddered, pulling away far enough for Willow to see him. He looked even uglier than normal, wearing a green and beige shirt with skinny brown pants. He looked kind of like Link from Legend of Zelda, if you squinted and put a green hat on him.

“Now, fighting won’t get you anywhere, will it?” the neko scolded, pushing herself in between the two. “Come sit down. I made you all toast.”

“Toast?” Willow perked up, her mouth already starting to water. She was a sucker for most grain foods, like bread, crackers and toast. Her addiction to bread was like Maxils’ to salt. “Human, I command you to direct me to the nearest plate of toast!”

“Jeez, fine, Cat.” Maxils led (dragged) Willow to the table. “So, quick question, who else was brought here?”

William was the one to respond. “Brady, Austin and Simone are here, too.”   
“Have Brady and Graeme kissed yet?” Maxils’ pupils were now in the shape of stars-wait, no, those were pentagrams.  _ I know Maxils said that her friend told her that her eyes could do that, but I didn’t expect it to be true. _

“I’M NOT GAY!!!” Graeme screeched.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Graeme, could you not scream like that?” Willow growled, covering her ears.

“That kitty said a bad word!” Simone’s voice called. The little shit  _ was _ here. Fuck.

“Willow, stop swearing!” Graeme scolded the cat.

That earned a gasp from Simone. “That’s Willow?!”

“Yes. Now shut up and let me eat my toast,” the cat spat, nibbling her toast. She relaxed as the taste filled her mouth, causing her to smile slightly and purr.

“After you are all done your food,” the neko spoke, “would you like for me and my husband to show you around town?”

“Sure!” Graeme answered. It didn’t take long for Myles, William and Simone to agree. Willow nodded, too, because she was going to need a tour guide, with her vision impairment.

Maxils, however, stiffened at the suggestion. Willow didn’t know whether it was because of the thought of someone else telling her what to do, the prospect of social interaction or the fact that she didn’t know how crowded it would be outside.

“Maxils, you’ll be fine,” Willow reassured her.

“I’d rather go alone,” the tall human answered after a moment. “If I get lost, I can just ask for directions.”   
“No, you can’t,” Willow argued. Why was Maxils being so god damn stubborn?!

“I CAN.”

“Initiate a conversation with… uh… what’s your name?” Willow asked their savior.

“Oh, me? I’m Avi!”

“Initiate a conversation with Avi,” Willow dared Maxils.

“Uh… hhhi?” Maxils tensed even more.   
“It’s fine, I don’t bite,” Avi replied.

Willow chuckled. “Maxils is hopeless when it comes to conversations with people she doesn’t know.”

“All I’d need to do out there is ask where the actual fuck I am.”

“When we get home, I’m telling on you!” Graeme threatened. “Both of you!”

Willow decided not to mention that if Graeme told on both her and Maxils, his mother wouldn’t believe him.

“Fine. We can split into groups. Graeme, Brady, Simone and Austin with Avi, and Willow, Myles and William with me.”

“Let’s wait for Tom and James to get home.”

“Who?” Myles asked.

“I’m her husband, and James here is her son,” a new voice answered. As they got closer, Willow could see a blue-haired neko with glasses, and a shorter, red-haired neko.  _ Hallelujah, there  _ are _ glasses around here. I’m probably going to need some if I’m going to survive. _

Maxils leaned back into Willow as she noticed the red-haired neko, presumably James. Of course.

“Mom, who are these people and why are they here? Most of them look weird.”

“HEY!” Graeme, Simone, Myles and William retorted.

Maxils, meanwhile, was too busy focusing on James himself. “Holy shit why is there a small child help help help help help!!!”

“Also, for your information, I am thirteen years old.”

“It could be worse,” Willow told Maxils. “We could be somewhere with  _ spider- _ human hybrids.”

“WILLOW STOP GIVING ME NIGHTMARE FUEL!”

“James, stop being rude,” Tom ordered. The red-haired cat human nodded apologetically. “Anyways, you need a tour around town?”   
“How’d you know?” William asked.

“With ears like the people of our town have, you hear a lot. Anyways, I suppose I’ll guide the group consisting of the blonde’s decision.”

Maxils scoffed indignantly at the remark, but Willow just nodded and said, “Thanks. This one will need someone to lead her around. She’s not good with directions, memory or people.”

“Willow, you’re supposed to be supporting me!”

“By the way,” James interrupted, “it’s law for everyone in the town to have some form of self-defense, in the form of a weapon.”

“So, when are we going?” Maxils added in almost instantly, earning a facepalm from Myles, William and Willow.

This was going to be a  _ long _ trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illusion: Willow still isn't here.  
> No, she is not. Also, in case you're wondering the town name early, it's Nikoni (pronounced Nee-ko-nee). Feel free to call it Nico Nico Nii.  
> Bob: What's up with your eyes?  
> Eh, my friend (who gave me a verbal kudos that caused me to post this chapter) once told me that for a moment, my pupils changed shape into a plus sign. The more I think about it, the more I blame the sun.  
> Illusion: No, it's because you're the spawn of Satan. You and I both know that.  
> Bob: I agree with Illusion. You asked for your locker number to be **666** last year.  
> Shut up, Bob. You too, Illusion.  
> Anyways, I _miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight_ be able to squeeze out another chapter before Thursday, but starting Thursday, I'll be spending all 5-day-weekend-because-teacher's-convention-AND-FAMILY-DAY studying for my learner's permit.  
> Bob: Driving is overrated.  
> Illusion: Teleportation is far more efficient. Besides, can cars get you from AU to AU?  
> My mom is getting me a phone if I get my Learner's by Family Day.  
> Yes, I am that one kid whose parents won't get her a phone before she's a teenager.  
> damn, i still have to wait two days before i get to sleep in
> 
> Anyways, Apple or Android?  
> kthxbai


End file.
